A Very Sad Day

What an awful day. I have been so busy since I returned from my holiday. I’ve had a lovely time seeing guys old and new over the last few weeks but one of my cats took ill over the weekend and today she wasn’t looking very well. I phoned the vets but couldn’t get an appointment until 4.50pm and so I just set about my day as normal.
My lovely gentleman from abroad sent me a text message at around 10.15am asking if it was a good time to phone.  It’s always a good time to phone when it’s this certain person and so I said yes and he called me from his office phone, abroad, a few minutes later.  We discussed my holiday, my friend moving house, he asked about the cats because he’s met them all and I told him that one of my little ladies wasn’t too good today and that we were going to see the doctor later in the day.  He was on the phone about twenty minutes and was genuinely concerned about her and passed on his best wishes.  I am very lucky to have found him,  his compassion and understanding of me and and my life never ceases to amaze me.  We had a laugh over my funny stories about Turkey and I told him I’d tell him the whole kit and caboodle when I next see him, once again, next week.  
I got about my day and then at about 2.45pm I went into my bedroom to check on my little kitty. She wasn’t interested in leaving the bedroom this morning but I wanted to take her into the dining room so I could try some food before we visited the vets.  She moaned and complained and I placed her on her favourite cushion.  She let out a cry, all so suddenly, she was never a talker and I said “Oh what’s going on baby”, she then stood up from her cushion, on all four feet and they gave way, she collapsed and fell to her side and within two minutes she died.  Just died…………………….  Oh so sudden.  Within in a few minutes I phoned the vets and cancelled and told them she had died and then I sat on the sofa with her for 20 minutes until her body stiffened and the fluids left her being,  
I immediately contacted a trusted pet crematorium who I have used before and they told me to come and visit them and they took me to a private room at their excellent facility in Durham and we started the process of having her privately cremated.   We chatted for a bit about her life and they took payment (they don’t insist on it there and then but I wanted it out of the way) and then I made my way home.
I called into the Co-Op at North Brunton and bought myself a nice bottle of white wine and cooked myself some chips. Comfort food.  Her passing was a complete shock.  I just thought she was a little under the weather and caught a chill but she went so completely and so quickly without warning that I didn’t have time to think about what was happening. 
Earlier, I had a former client texting me with stupid nonsense whilst I was trying to carry her and balance her on my arms on the cushion into the car to take her to the pet cemetary. My god did he get a telling.  He was texting me with smart, smarmy rubbish. The person I’ve have been referring to recently on twitter who I will never ever in my life see, communicate or give time of day to again.  His timing was perfect.  It gave me the opportunity to tell him to leave me alone.  People don’t understand the consequences of their actions and they have no respect for what others are doing when they send a text message.  That’s why in 15 years working as a gay escort I make a point of never instigating contact with clients because I don’t know what is going on in their personal lives at that time.  This person doesn’t give others that respect.  That was the ultimate deciding factor to end that chapter.  The death of my lovely kitty of 14 years made me see what a dick people can be, they’ve always got to have the last say. Apparently it was a joke.  I didn’t find it funny with a dead kitten on the passenger seat.
Anyway enough of that nonsense.  I had a lovely little girl and she was taken from me when I didn’t expect it. I have one little boy and two girls left and they’re all getting older, except the devil child who is immortal.  
I had a shit day and ironically I started my tweets off today being positive.  Look what happened.
Anyway thank you to the many people on twitter, too numerous to mention who paid their respects to me tonight. She might only have been a cat to some but she was my child, I fed, played with, adored, gave treats and cat sweets to her and she never judged me.
Funnily, last night I seen a very devilishly gorgeous guy from Sunderland, once again.  She wouldn’t leave the room before he arrived but he was cool with it.  He made a little fuss of her and said “No Steve leave her, it’s fine if she’s not well and it’s her comfort that matters” and we joked about her being the maid and taking the money. That’s something I will always remember. Thank you to him too for being so nice and kind.
Steve x

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