A Week Of Timewasters

I woke up at 6.25am this morning, glanced at my phone and noticed a text message at 6.15am asking if I was available this morning.  As with most texters, it was vague (texters love to text but rarely text you anything helpful) so I enquired if it was to visit me, visit him, what time and how long for.  The reply was “Now, Gateshead for 15 minutes”.  I am sorry but I don’t do 15 minute appointments to Gateshead at 7am.

I got up, made a cup of tea and the phone rang, it was a different number.  Local geordie accent.  “Where’s you”, yes his opening line was where’s you.  I told him I was in Gosforth and quite astonishingly his reply was “Where’s that and how long will it take you to get to mine”, now excuse me for not being  Russell Grant here but how on earth am I supposed to know where he is, but before I could reply he then said again “So mate, where are you”.  Correct me if I am wrong here but if I am expected to make a journey to see someone does it really matter where I am coming from and I can understand someone with a Cornish accent not knowing where Gosforth is but this guy sounded like he’d never left Byker in his entire life.  Gosforth is a suburb of 55,000 people, it’s not a small place.  I said I couldn’t help and hung up.  I can’t be arsed with men like that at 7am, they’re tough enough when they’re awake and compos mentis but this guy sounded off his head and I am not far short off the mark when I say things like that.

This week was a toughie, it’s been busy but it’s had it’s fair share of timewasters.  On Wednesday I had a guy email me asking for an appointment and asking if he could do it all by email because he was worried about his wife checking his phone.  He couldn’t identify himself as being someone who had visited me before and so I refused to deal with him purely by email and asked him to phone me.  Regular guys who have seen me often can just email or text for an appointment, new guys have to adhere to my rules.  Eventually he had to give something away, in order to book and it was then that I realised why he didn’t wish to give me  his number……..HE WAS BARRED.  In the summer he made an appointment with me for 11am one morning and he cancelled ten minutes after his arrival time, claiming to have left his wallet at home.  Yes, it’s annoying especially as it’s ten minutes after his scheduled arrival time but he did apologise (by text I may add, he couldn’t seem to phone) and later that day he booked for 5.30pm, saying that an opportunity has arisen to allow him to leave home and visit me again.  At 4.55pm he text me with “setting off” and that’s the last I heard from him.  He didn’t turn up at 5.30pm and he ignored my text at 5.45pm asking if he was running late.  He claimed on Wednesday that he had apologised for that and yes he did……for the first instance that day but he’s never apologised for the second offence.  He then made it look like I was being unreasonable and did the usual “well if you’re happy to turn down my money” type nonsense.  Yes I am happy to turn it down mate because when you no show me I could have easily turned down someone else for the same time slot or similar time and so not only have I lost out on your money but more importantly their appointment too because they would probably have turned up whereas you didn’t and therefore cost me an income.  You wouldn’t like it done to you in your line of work, so please DON’T DO IT IN MINE.

Thursday was no different with a similar scenario.  A guy I had seen before from Ponteland wanted to visit for 4pm.  He booked it at 2.30pm earlier that day and just wanted me to confirm my door number over the phone.  I was looking forward to his visit.  On this occasion a new guy phoned who had never booked before and asked for an hour at 3.45pm which I had to turn down and I told him I wouldn’t be free until about 5.30pm.  This wasn’t suitable for him and then……………my 4pm didn’t show.  I text the Ponteland guy asking if he was running late and got the reply “Who is this”.  Yes……….pissed about again and lost a new client who may not call back a second time.   He might ring back but there’s no guarantee.  I get a lot of passing trade from being so close to the A1, some of my clients, even regular ones live in Scotland and Yorkshire and see me when they are on the road.  It’s dismays me that clients think so little of you, even ones you’ve seen before and so he was told he was also barred.  I can’t provide a sexual service to men who have no respect for other people’s livelihoods.

Anyway, it’s nearly 9am on New Years Eve and I am hoping for a busy day, so I had better get into the shower and get my slag rags on just incase someone rings and wants to pop over in ten minutes, because it happens……….all too often but I don’t mind because at least they turn up and don’t book for 2 hours time and then no show.  That’s MOST ANNOYING !!!!

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